Photo Credit goes to my wonderful Boyfriend Jonathan Fass

The Vision of an Eagle | Where are You Going?

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As a child I LIVED in my imagination.  It was perfect and I could be anything I wanted – mostly I was a cheetah (loved cheetahs) or some sort of mystical creature from the likes of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. I was often a heroine or an underdog of some sort, battling injustice or fighting against the odds for some greater cause. In many ways, you could have said I was a dreamer who never had my sights set in reality. However, the reality was there in many forms – In fact I think one of life’s greatest tragedies is when we stop believing we could be great at something, even if it’s realising that we are great if we are being ourselves.  You see, the reality was my VISION of who I was meant to be – from a young age, I was never satisfied with “average”.   I believed in beating the odds; being determined and persistent [ok, stubborn] … I was sensitive and perceptive to wrongs and felt a very strong desire to set things right or seek resolution or justice.  This also happened to get me into trouble quite often as I had a brass-necked approach – especially as a teenager LOL

Except for the imaginary animals and the cheeky brass neck, I am exactly the same today.  Through the ups and downs of my childhood, I never lost sight of the vision to be who I felt I needed to be. Yes, there have been many times I was lost, or apathetic toward “greater” things, leading to wrong decisions, many questionable actions or inactions.  Times of depression, thoughts of suicide, poor self-esteem, believing I was worthless, that I had nothing interesting to say, and certainly for many years I believed nobody liked me … these things often become true, if you let your attitude change as a result.  So for a long time, I felt very alone and was (and still am sometimes) very self-critical.  However, through all of this negativity, I never stopped believing there was good and value to be found… I just didn’t know where to find it.

Having a vision for your life isn’t just about having physical goals or desiring more than what you have, or even feeling the highs of happy moments (believe me, you can still have highs in the midst of depression and emptiness). Having vision is about seeing beyond any outward challenge and reaching inward to that central point (that is really hard to explain) that feeds the desire to sit still and just listen.  You soon realise that this “vision” was there all along!  If you let yourself sit still (stillness and peace are so important in this process), you can easily feel where your life is not lining up to your vision for WHO YOU ARE.

If all you ever feel or say is: “I’m so busy”, then you will never break free of that and you will remain trapped in that endless chaos that distracts us so easily from the true path of our life.

It’s very easy to measure our lives by the things we do, the people we know, the people who like us or the things we accumulate – but how often do you ask yourself: WHY you do the things you do? What are you hoping to get? Where are you going?

 

A few years back, I began a journey (unknown at the time) to truly realise my vision. What I thought was a path to better physical fitness, a better looking body and [through that] happiness; instead I was lead to a complete renewal of my mind and a total rebirth of my character – I am becoming who I [and God] always wanted me to be.  My understanding of this related to my Christian faith, but I still wanted to share this “moment” with you all because I see so many people forget their heart’s “set-point” … that pulling inside you that grabs you every once in a while to say: “you are meant for more than this!”.  Often, fear, lack of confidence, getting comfortable in our ways, feeling obligated to others, chasing money, feeling we simply don’t deserve more etc are barriers to us believing and following our vision.  Whether you share my beliefs or not, you cannot deny the emptiness people try to fill in their lives.

This was a very meaningful reading the other morning for me:

As I mentioned briefly in my last blog, I have resigned from Nursing to pursue a new venture in doing pretty much this.  I honestly have no idea where it will lead; all I do know is that I am free to express myself and it allows me to bring to life my vision of WHO I am and allows me to focus on reaching out in ways that are true to that.  Here is the moment after I handed in my resignation:

 

It might seem a little egotistical of me to think I have some special greatness or such-like and I just want congratulated on this venture …  but I am trying to tell (and illustrate) the power of having a vision! It’s not just in me – you have vision, too! No matter what you are doing, who you are – you should strive to be great at it.  As children we are full of aspirations, imaginations and beautiful creativity … where does that go? As a child, I had the ability to make the best of a “bad” situation: making toys out of nearly anything or even nothing at all.. yet so many adults are so dissatisfied and unhappy because they live in a mindset of “lacking” or “seeking” – yet these things we think are missing are closer to home than we realise :)

Perhaps we resist looking inward because it just too difficult to face who we have become while searching for who we really are.

I know some of you don’t share in my faith, but I felt this devotional was very appropriate for what I was going through the other day when I finally completed my last shift. Filled with mixed emotions (feelings of freedom, joy and fear), my mum left this out for me as I got home from work on the morning of July 8th:

 

With that in mind, here is a video right after I left the hospital!  I will miss many of my colleagues and many things about nursing, but I decided a long time ago that I wanted to do something else. At that time, I didn’t know what … now I have a better idea. I hope this journey never ends, because it has allowed me to see the world in brighter colours than ever before!

 

Are you a Chicken or an Eagle?

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10 Responses

  1. Courtney F says:

    Congrats girl, very proud of you :o) Been following the blog and your workouts for a while now .. I am also trying to decide on the same situation. Do I stay where I am comfortable and stable and competent, or do I try something else? It’s hard to know when you are tired of being a “player” in the game (I’m in medicine too) and when you should start being a “coach”, if that makes any sense. But thank you for documenting your journey, it’s heartening for me!!! Cheers!!

  2. Frances Adamolekun says:

    Well done! I think you are doing the right thing. God bless and good luck

    Frances.

  3. Rachel says:

    Love that verse in Isaiah, I think upon it sometimes, the word ‘wait’ means intertwine, acknowledging our divine union with Him, that we have the DNA of GOD in us is what strengthens!

    We are only limited by our own doubts. Enjoy the freedom of flying like an eagle in your new venture, there are no boundaries in the fields of grace. :-)

  4. Mickela says:

    this is quite amazing. I remember finding your blog and being so inspired by you. I don’t think I would have taken my kettle bell workouts as far as I have without your blog and your passion for health and fitness.

    I wish you the best in your journey. I admire your courag I can’t wait to see how you evolve, and I hope that it all goes well for you. You deserve it, you are a hard worker and you definitely have a talent. Love that you are sharing your journey in life.

    cheers and much luck to you and yours

  5. Gert says:

    Marianne,

    Which directions would you take your attention when you take everything dealing with fitness/strength directions out of the “equation”. If you could delete the pulling of the physical completely out. Then take a refreshed look to the free empty horizont. If you threw away the kettle-bells and weights. Ended your fitness-membership. Started with a complete clean sheet and exercising/sports is not possible in any dream.

    Maybe you should take “the eagerness” to exceed out too. Aim standard, normal.

    Ohh, I know what it is to quit a job. But, I had no vision. I had more an anti-vision.. I had to learn,…. To learn to be unhappy !! Everybody should learn that.. Happyness is easy. The key is learning to be unhappy.. !! A key in life. Just like having a vision some way or another way.

    • Marianne says:

      The happiness I speak of is more of a deep joy. Within this, you can be momentarily happy and unhappy, but still act on the “root” force and have your vision based in that, no fleeting feelings. If that makes sense.

      If I couldn’t do any of this for some reason, I’d write about the reasons why and I would be me, in exactly this way, regardless of where my passion lay. I would use the gifts I have (which are not only in the fitness field or weight lifting or what ever I choose to do) to being a blessing to others.

      It’s as simple as that. At this point in my life, I enjoy the training and I love writing for my readers about the things I think and things I hope you will all enjoy and get something from.

      Aiming to “exceed” is natural to me. But I am not asking or hoping the impossible or unreasonable, because I am not eager to exceed at fitness …. I am only interesting at exceeding in growth and sharing :) I want to exceed at being the best version of me. Each day I grow and, whether I am happy or unhappy, I still have joy and I still have purpose and reasons to be grateful –> with this I can bring something to the table :)

      The horizon doesn’t tell me very much – because it is always the same distance away …I take a step closer and the horizon is no closer. All that matters is what I do with my gifts right now.

  6. Marija says:

    I so needed to read this. It’s something I’ve been feeling and thinking all my life, but I was never really brave enough to say it outloud to people around me fearing they would think I’m crazy for feeling like an eagle.:) I wasn’t only affraid they’d try and clip my wings I was affraid of them getting the idea I thought I was better than them for feeling this way and that the negativity would pour down on me. I am wiser now. I know my path and my passion. I know I am the only one who feels what’s right or wrong for me, support is incredible and welcome but things can be achieved without it. It’s incredible and so lovely what your mum left open for you.
    Word for word of what you wrote and what you added in the photos is like it has been written for me. I wish you all the best in all your endeavours and all the roads you choose to take.
    Keep inspiring with your hoesty and incredible spirit and deep faith . I am thankful to have found you to be my inspiration on my jourey.
    God bless.

  7. David says:

    I have just returned to this website after an 18 month hiatus, why the hiatus, because I have been on just the journey you are embarking on now.

    18 months ago I quit my job to start my own business, I wish I had videoed my thoughts and feelings at the time but I can still remember the feeling gladly. The equal measure of excitement and intrepidation is such a unique feeling.

    My new chapter is still very much beginning but things have gone from strength to strength and my life is almost at a point of being perfect. If you have the drive, passion and ability I honestly feel you can achieve your goals, and you certainly have all three in abundance.

    Unfortunately for me my fitness has taken a huge dive as most of my time has been taken up building the business, but now things are much calmer so I have bought some new KB’s (lighter than my old ones whilst I build back up) and plan to get my fitness back.

    I genuinely hope you achieve what you want, I’m sure you will.

    • Marianne says:

      I’m so happy for you, David! Thank you for dropping by to fill us in :)

      I hope that you get your training back on track. Give me a shout if you need any help/support.

      Cheers,
      Marianne

      • David says:

        Thanks Marianne, the same with you and your websites, I am a programmer and develop websites and web apps etc and would be happy to help.

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