body-mind-soul-spirit2

The SIX BEST Things I Have Done for My Body, Mind and Soul

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Hey everyone,

The plan today was to upload a new workout. Unfortunately I still have a lot of muscle soreness from training 2 days ago, so I felt moved to write instead :)

Since starting my blog OVER 2 and half years ago (can you believe it’s been that long), I have not only changed physically, but I think I have become a better person *big proud grin*!  I know this because inside I feel AT PEACE and not all crazy and stressed. Although I know age and experience have to do with that, I do not feel I can take credit for the biggest change of all. There is only One explanation for that, and I might talk more about my inner spiritual journey more some other time, but I want to share these 6 things because I feel that no matter what your circumstances or beliefs are, these key realisations of mine, might just help you too.

As you read through my Top 6 Things (it started as 5 btw) I ever did, try to relate it to YOU and take a minute to focus on your own best decisions/actions etc and really feel proud of yourself for being able to see that you don’t always have to be driven by wanting to change something bad – you can be fueled and rewarded for seeing what you are doing right!

1) I stopped focusing on Fat Loss! (80% of the time, LOL)

This was a huge turning point for me, as I had been plagued by this internal hatred of my body composition.  While there may still be times when I am not 100% happy with how I look, I can quickly change my focus to seeing how far I have come and saying “well, you are stronger, leaner, healthier than you ever were, Marianne!” …  (as I said in my recent post “Amend Your Mind, Not Your Body“)

When I first started training properly for strength and performance, I stopped looking outwardly at what I wanted to look like and started enjoying the training progressions. This caused a massive shift in perspective for me.  I believe this could have been the beginning of me starting to focus on inner-me.

How much importance and worth do you place in how you look?  Let me reword that – How many of you feel that your happiness level would be higher, if you were leaner?  This leads nicely to my next point …

2) I Stopped Jumping to the Negatives (80% of the time)

Do you ever stand and look at yourself in the mirror and only see the things you wish you could change?  Let me tell you that the more you ALLOW YOURSELF to do this, the more negatives you will notice.  Your mind becomes a magnet for what you think about most.  If you hate your body, you will feed that mind-set more and keep seeing more things to hate.

I spent many a morning and night changing my clothes away from the sight of the mirror.  If I didn’t catch a glimpse, I wouldn’t feel bad for the rest of the night.  Isn’t that sad?  The human body is amazing and each of us should be proud of our physical shell, because that allows us to do good things in the world.

Do you think a person with a “perfect” body (to you) is happy and confident because they have a perfect body?  NOPE! If they are truly happy and confident, they are so because they love what they have in spite of the “flaws” (to them).

Try this instead:  for a one week trial – notice and write down just 1 thing you like about your body. You only need to think of one different thing each day. It will seem really difficult the first day, but then you become more and more tuned in to what is good :)

3) I Stopped Comparing Myself to Others! (well, I’m getting there!)

Envy is a deadly sin for a reason; it poisons you and your relationships! Stop thinking “why can’t I look like her?” or “what does he see in her and not me”, or “If I was as strong, beautiful, lean as so-and-so, I’d be happy”, or the worst of all: “it’s easy for you to say, because you’re x,y,z”…

Hands-up confession: I was plagued by these types of thoughts through my teens and early 20′s!  I always managed to find a nemesis; someone who appeared to have it all and who people loved “more” than me.  And I made it my mission to try and get one up on them. Ashamedly true :( Yet, the more I let those questions about “me verses them” come up in my head, the more I got angry at them and I felt like they didn’t deserve the favour they got, and I deserved it more (PRIDE!!!).  And I started to doubt myself and began to believe that I could never measure up.

Thankfully, we are not stuck in these cycles for life – if we decide to change, we can!

What happened to change this?  I set my mind to wishing them well, and I DECIDED to be happy for them.  I do not let the crappy, weak-mindedness insecurities rule my life – I simply say: “Well, I too have a wonderful life and I am made for a different, yet equally amazing purpose. Thank you God!”.  And you know what?  The burning FEELINGS (feelings are not always meant to motivate our actions btw!) die down and I feel happy FOR THEM, and grateful for my life.

This is by far my biggest challenge in life. But I am overcoming it because I cannot live my life being Envious – that is no way to live.

Know your achilles heel and be prepared to guard it well.

4)  I Stopped Conforming to What the World Wants!

Giving in to pressures and expectations of the world will never win you long term happiness! It may win you popularity, admiration, money or even a partner but these are just empty promises made by the world’s standards and I believe we are held accountable to God and in Him is where happiness lives.

Whether you believe in God or not, the truth is (in any belief system) that “STUFF” and those things we gain from other people, are not what makes us happy and fulfilled! For instance, what happens when you lose all that stuff? You’re no longer popular; people start to dislike you because you’re not flavour of the month anymore; your partner cheats on you, you lose your outer “beauty” … etc.  Ask yourself: Where you place your value, your identity and whose opinion/judgement really matters!

To use an example, I made a post on my FB Fitness Page with something about God in it and I got a telling off and lost a reader because he was offended by my belief and so-called “evangelising”.  In the past I might have freaked out and deleted my post so I didn’t cause more people to leave my page (trying to win my popularity), trying to conform to their expectation of me.  I don’t do that anymore!

You can NEVER please everyone anyway, so just be yourself.

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” Romans 12:2

*Oops! Sorry for evangelising on my own blog!*

If something I say offends you then don’t blame me (my intention is never to offend), look to yourself for why YOU are offended.  Offense is not given, offense is taken.  If you feel so free to tackle me on my beliefs, then surely I am granted the freedom to voice them.

5) I Stopped Taking Things Personally (another work in progress)

This leads on from point 4, but on it’s own it can pull you out of many a dark moment! Think of how miserable your life would be if you took everything people said as something mean or a criticism? Well, I have been in that messed-up warped mind-set too!

I would say that 80% of the time that you are feeling hurt by someone, they don’t even realise they have done it!! Then, when you realise they haven’t realised – you take even more offense to it and huff or retaliate or you get caught up in thoughts of revenge.

Before letting yourself become offended by something, do the following:

  • Ask “why is this hurting me”?
  • Try to give that person the benefit of the doubt.
  • If it’s a stranger, stop feeling you have to justify yourself.
  • Don’t act too soon.  “… everyone must be quick to hearslow to speak and slow to anger…” James 1:19
  • What helps me, is thinking: “well, do I want to prove them right?” :)

6) I Shut Down the Time Portal

Lately I have written and talked about this topic extensively (see my post about “The One Day Mentality“, so all I will say is our awareness, understanding and actions/inactions only exist in any given moment – not down the road in “one day I’ll be …” or in the past “where we had it all” – it is right NOW.

Yes, the past may have shaped us, but that shaping has stopped; we can’t go back and unshape to a former version of ourselves. Like that relationship that doesn’t seem so bad looking back?? Hmm, that relationship a) ended and b) no longer exists because you and whoever are different NOW.  Why try to move back to a past place?  Or you want to look how you did in your 20′s … yet you’re not in your 20′s now, you’re 40 and have 3 kids!

Shut down the Time Travel and remember it for what it is now – a lesson.

There we have a “little” glimpse of a few lessons I have learned over the last 2 and a half years. I set out on myomytv to document my fitness journey (and provide awesome workouts), but what a journey it has become; fitness of Body, Mind and Soul :)

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48 Responses

  1. Patty says:

    Very well said! I, too, am working on all the above. It is so cool how at peace you become when you are focused in the right direction!

  2. squirrel says:

    When was the last time I told you you are awesome? :D

  3. Laurie says:

    Great wisdom. Thanks for sharing.
    The older I get the more I refuse to let people drain me of my energy. I hate second guessing what people are actually thinking.
    Some people are just toxic for your life, remove them from your inner circle or at least limit your interactions. Just be kind and don’t judge. Enjoy your own company, love yourself and be your own best cheer leader!!
    Can’t wait for your next workout!
    Laurie, Ontario, Canada

    • Marianne says:

      It amazes how much time people waste worrying about how others will react to things.

      What I have noticed lately is how much happier I have become being alone. Before, I would seek people out to “comfort” my loneliness, but not anymore :)

      Love your outlook :)

  4. TheKirvel says:

    Thank you, Marianne, for sharing your thoughts. I think that deep down we all know these thruths, but we need to be reminded. It is wonderful when you realise these things, and let them grow in you and see how your life can change and become so much better. Kind regards, Kirsten

    • Marianne says:

      Re-reading these things, I just feel like I must have had one heck of a gaping hole in my life to be seeking fulfilment and happiness from everywhere else – that’s why I never found it. I know some people don’t want to hear about my personal beliefs, but I truly feel that God does great work through me and I do not want to deny it because that is not being honest. The credit for all of this change is not mine! No way could I have changed so much in such a short space of time without some larger force at work.

      And, the funny thing is, even just 6 months ago, I would have laughed at anyone writing this and poked fun :/ And I would have cringed at the thought that I would be declaring this to my readers. But I am grateful this has happened. Actually, back in April, I was having a conversation with a friend (who is Science and anti-creation) and even then I denied God and sat on the fence about everything.

      Anyway, I thank you for your kind comments and I’ll try not to start preaching ;)

  5. Kathryn says:

    Just what I needed… Internal head wars are so destructive and at 28 I am trying to shift my mindset. Trying to lose 3kg is destroying my head because that’s what I was in my early 20s. This post has given me my guiding principles for the next phase of my journey! Thank you’

  6. Emilie says:

    Marianne! I was so encouraged reading your blog entry today. I’ve been following your blog and doing the kettle bell workouts for over one year without posting any comments until now.

    I was encouraged by your challenge to readers asking if they would actually be happier if they were leaner. Often we covet things the world tells us will make us happier. But trusting in those things to make us happier are deceptive empty promises, being a certain weight, having a nice car, home, popularity, or whatever, these things are unable to deliver. Also, the bible labels covetousness as idolatry (Col. 3:5). That is a scary thought.

    I loved the challenge to stop thinking negatively about our bodies and instead list one thing we like about our bodies every day. I listened to a sermon recently where the pastor said something I thought sounded crazy, but may really be true. Satan hates the human body because it is the only creation that contains the Holy Spirit—God! (hidden treasure in earthen vessels) So his theory was that Satan wants to get us to self hatred.

    So we are called to stop listening to the demons in our mirrors, pick up our dignity, and believe that God’s word is true. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, we are made in His image, and we must choose not to hate what God loves. Our bodies!

    Personally, I have always liked my body, my eyes, my hair, and my short stature, and found it foreign to think of myself as ugly in any way. I’m so thankful that I’ve never hated any part of my body. I contribute this mindset to God and my family for never emphasizing what the world qualifies as ‘beautiful.’ Because I had the freedom to discover what beauty was and never had the world’s standards forced upon me, through reading different books, interacting with people, and listening to different sermons I’ve developed my own thoughts about beauty. One author referred to beauty as one of the most misunderstood aspects of God. And I’ve come to the conclusion that healthy is beautiful.

    I was listening to the radio 2-3 years ago, and a Pastor came on with a short 5-10min sermon. He was talking about the holiness of God, and that the word holiness also meant that God is ‘whole.’ He is complete in himself, he lacks nothing, and needs nothing outside of himself. We, who created in His image need Him, and are meant to be whole as well. This immediately made me thing of the 7-8 dimensions of wellness: environmental, occupational, social, spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical, and some include financial. John 10:10, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”

    • Marianne says:

      Thank you Emilie for your comment. What a great point about body hatred! The evil one’s greatest weapon is deception after all, so why not try to convince us to hate ourselves and become self-destructive and focused on the flesh. What a great distraction from more important things, like cleansing the Soul.

      Thank you for breaking your silence :)

  7. Brian Thompson says:

    Excellent article. Wise and insightful. Thank you. BMT

  8. Jaime says:

    Great post Marianne! All of your points are very true, but unfotunately so easy to forget on a daily basis. Thank you for the wonderful reminder!

  9. Sarah says:

    Hi Marianne,

    very nice post and very useful and insightful considerations.

    Just one thing, coming from one of your atheist viewers. Maybe I am wrong, so I apologize if I misinterpreted your Facebook reader’s post. I actually don’t think that Thomas (if that was his name) was “offended” by your referring to God. He possibly was simply “not interested” in reading about God in a fitness site and found it rather a turn-off.
    I think his reaction was absolutely excessive and it was perhaps a little silly to “unlike” a Facebook page or stop following an excellent trainer and a great person like you simply because you talk about God in your blog.
    I do confess though that I tend to loose interest in reading your blogposts when you mention God often, simply because I can’t relate with your experience.

    I am nevertheless very happy for you that you are finding comfort and joy in your spiritual life and I certainly won’t stop following you and your blog if you mention God every day.

    What you are going through reminds me of when Bret published his blogpost about Charles Poliquin. If you take a very strong position (whether it’s against another fitness guru, or whether it’s being open about your political views, or whether it’s because you speak about your relationship with God), you accept to run a risk. I am glad that you have accepted to run yours.

    Cheers
    Sarah

    • Sarah says:

      What I’m trying to say is: imagine if you followed a fitness trainer that you like very much. Imagine if this trainer started writing many posts where he writes how much he’s enjoying being an atheist and how much strength he’s getting from the fact that he’s an atheist.

      Certainly you would not stop following this trainer, but maybe the blogposts where he speaks about his atheism in his fitness site would not be your favourite posts. You would not relate, you might even go as far as to think that these posts are somehow misplaced in this sort of site. Maybe this is what Thomas – though in a very clumsy way – was trying to tell you.

      Please do understand that my comment is simply a way to explain how these posts might be considered. That said, this is YOUR blog and you clearly can write about whatever you choose.
      I don’t need to tell you that I always wish you well and hope all the best for you and for your fitness and personal journey. God included.

      Sarah

    • Marianne says:

      Hi Sarah,

      I totally understand where you are coming from and I understand completely those feelings of “would they ever stop talking about whatever”. Perhaps it is not the sort of thing people want to read, and the world view is that God is a sticky subject. However, I do not feel like the world view has a hold over me anymore. The difference between this way of writing and perhaps the way I used to write about my problems with a certain other fitness blog and “guru” etc, was I made the mistake back then of being arrogant, envious of their success (which I viewed as undeserved), and I felt that my way was better for everyone (again, more pride). I really wanted people to see the false message and promises, but I didn’t understand that what I needed to do was focus on my strong points (mostly just being me), and focus on bringing people awesome info, workouts etc. When I mention God, I am not telling everyone “I am right, you are wrong”, I am saying and displaying: “Look what this has done for my life!”. Displaying the good of my belief in God, rather than the negatives of not believing (from my Christian view).

      If I was reading a blog by an atheist and they were always bashing Christians, then I would find that hard to read. But if they were talking more about the positive things in their life and perhaps relating it to a non-Christian view, I would not mind that. People are free to believe what they want, but there is no need to tell someone the negatives, when you can simply be living proof. It’s their choice to be offended by that, or allow a keenness to have that for themselves. You can never force anyone to doubt their beliefs until they become more receptive to something else. I grew up in a Christian home and I had all the tools and help to get me close to God, except one thing – a want in me to do it! It has taken me 25 + years of wavering moments of “light” to finally make it out of the darkness. But noone could have made me do it – and preaching to me was the worst thing you could do – so there is no way I will be preaching here, just simply linking all the great things in me to God, rather than fate.

      If my readers are turned off by it, so be it – and I will deal with those reactions if I have to – but I won’t water it down. :)

      You are a frequent reader of my blog and I do like you and respect your opinions. The fact is, that you may turn out to be right and this will turn people off because it’s not fitness related. Firstly, myomytv is more than Fitness these days and secondly, this is a risk I am willing to take. At the end of the day, this blog (even though I love it dearly), is still less important than being true to my beliefs. And popularity to people is not my motivation.

      Anyway, I admire you for voicing the other view in such a respectful way :)

      • Sarah says:

        Hi Marianne,

        I would only like to clarify one thing: when I spoke about criticizing another fitness guru I was actually only referring to Bret’s post about Charles Poliquin: if you remember, he wrote in his blog that most of his friends had warned him against speaking his mind so much.

        I see you use the word “offended” (when you say that your viewers could be “offended” by what you write). I would again like to say that nobody’s offended, simply some people may not be “interested” in a particular blogpost. Nobody, not even Thomas, will ever be “offended” by you mentioning God.

        I will always continue to like you, to like your blog and to like you as a person, whether you speak or you don’t speak about God. :)

        Sarah

        • Marianne says:

          Sarah, I knew you were talking about that post on Bret’s site, but I didn’t want to use him as the example of something I have done myself.

          I’m glad you can find it in your atheist heart to still like me ;)

          Marianninininina

    • squirrel says:

      I would not call myself a complete atheist, though I broke with Christian belief in younger years – because I do not believe, that attending church service every week makes someone a better person without changing behaviour – or just the other way round, that I am worthless because I believe that you cannot lock god (or whatever you might call him/her/it) in a brick building. (You see, I have been raised in a rather extremist environment when it comes to religious views) And hell, I love science and I ask inconvenient questions.

      The point is, and this is why I am not turned off by Marianne talking about god, if we all would speak in a respectful manner, judge a person by their behaviour, try to forgive, let go of grief and hate and if we all would try to bring some light in other people’s life – the world would be a better place. In my opinion, this is only possible if we first respect and love ourselves – if a religion helps you to achieve this – so be it! And honestly, I think the words of spreading positivity and love are the core of the Bible. Unfortunately there are more people out there who do not truly understand these basic lesson though they consider themselves as the best Christians ever, which makes them appear rather arrogant.

      • Sarah says:

        I was brought up in a VERY Catholic country, but in a completely atheist family where I was taught to respect and not question other people’s beliefs (especially religious).

        What I have always suffered in younger years was a certain tendency from the majority of people to try and evangelize me, as if “they were the ones who knew better and who tried to show me the way”. THAT was quite irritating. I have never tried to convince anybody else that “atheism is better” and I have always thought that these are extremely personal matters.
        Some people believe in God, others don’t but these positions are always very delicate and very personal. That’s why I tend to think that it’s better to share these sorts of “feelings” (both in the case of people who believe and of people who don’t) only with people who feel the same way. Same goes with politics.

        And that’s why, though perhaps I would not have phrased my opinion as openly as Mickela did, I tend to have the same sort of reaction in front of some of these posts.

        That said, I also totally share Mickela’s opinion about Marianne and her blog and we all like her.

        Sarah (the atheist infidel)

  10. Curlsz says:

    some great thoughts, and just when I needed them the most. Thank you

  11. Elaine Landreth says:

    What a wonderful, encouraging message! I applaud the progress you have made and also your backbone in standing up for your beliefs. You DO have a right & responsibility to speak up. God has put you in the spotlight for a reason. Thanks for glorifying Him & for the encouragement you give me. BTW, I loved the quote from Romans! This is one you can also feel good about: Matthew 10:33 But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven. Thanks for your great example!

  12. chrysta says:

    I absolutely loved reading this as Ive had all the same feelings. I still struggle a bit with them but its definitely alot better. This was just such a good read as you bring so much positivity in all your posts. These life lessons are something everyone can learn from and I really wanted to say thank you for opening up and sharing this! You are awesome!! =)

    • Marianne says:

      It’s so cool that I now have a face and voice to put to your name!! :) Thank you for your kind comment – I really hope these struggles of yours continue to lessen and you will be free from whatever tries to hold you back!

  13. Melly says:

    I love this post. As you know, I have had a body changing experience, breast cancer. I am committed to embracing my new body, needs and choices and to moving forward. As I get used to my new body and I experience people checking me out, I need to remind myself of points 2, 3, 4, and 5. Not so much anymore, but, yes, it is a work in progress.
    But it isn’t just about that either, #4 seems like an overarching sentiment for my life right now; ‘Stop conforming to What the World Wants’. Instead of focusing on what the world wants, I am focusing on what I want to present to the world. I fought cancer and came out of it with a pretty nice deal, my life. In the meantime, I started learning about weight lifting and decided I wanted to see what fitness and exercise might lend to an already healthy lifestyle. Reading your words and introspections has been really helpful to me and helps to build a healthy mental foundation.
    I will stay present to my progress and goals! It takes time and I have some of that. Thanks Marianne!

  14. iddleitis says:

    Yet another great post Marianne. An enlightening journey but its yours and your happy with de road you are on. that’s the main thing. I suffer some of the same issues and I’m working on them everyday. Id like to hear your thoughts on how you let go of your old ways and mentality and stopping them creeping back into your mind. Is it something that you find yourself pulling yourself up on? If that makes sense!!

  15. Kimberly says:

    I also am “breaking my silence”, as it were – I didn’t feel that I had anything to add to the fitness side of things. But I am very encouraged by this post and your spiritual “coming out” as it seems to be ! I haven’t come across another Christian woman who lifts. Thank you for sharing this journey.

    I have been loving your style of training here – the conditioning paired with the heavy lifting. I am so happy to be liberated from the dreaded elliptical machine. Your workouts paired with other routines and some changes to my diet have brought me to the best physical condition of my life – at 38 years old and two little kids.

    Keep shining your light.

  16. Mickela says:

    The christian stuff turns my belly, but I still think you are a wise and special human being and your workouts are amazing,challenging and effective. Keep walking the path you have chosen.

    Cheers

  17. Edgar Afzelius says:

    hi Marianne,

    I’m from Manila, i started reading your blogs this year and i too am a kettlebell enthusiast, i joined this group called society for spiritual awakening, i always like looking at your instructional videos, i like that you are honest and sincere. I invite you to check our simple website. Just type,
    christian-esoteric-mysticism.com

    Ed

  18. Cita H. says:

    Thanks for sharing your comments marianne…..the only thing I can say is u cant expect to succeed in ANYTHING without the source, the source meaning God. You are such a well rounded person…admire that about you. Continue the good work…..God Bless.

    Cita

  19. Tony b says:

    Im down with Jesus!! Thanks for being a “matthew 5:14″ about your beliefs. Also, about fat loss, my motto is ” stop focusing on the weight youre trying to drop and focus on the weight youre trying to lift”.

  20. rae says:

    Hi Marianne, I love your workouts and your blog you and the girls gone strong have been a great inspiration to me in my workouts etc. I am so pleased that you are living to please God no matter what anyone else says. Ultimately, he will judge us all for what we do in this life not our peers so keep being true to your values.

  21. Dennis says:

    Hi Marianne,

    I’ve been following your site for a few years now, and while I don’t necessarily do your workouts anymore, I still visit from time to time to see what’s new, and to learn from you. I’ve never commented on anything before but after reading this article I just felt I needed to write in and say Thank you! I really commend you on what you wrote and everything you are doing with your life. It makes me happy to see and read about you being happy and at peace. Your positive energy and spiritual happiness comes across so clearly in your videos and in your words. I guess that’s the power of positivity (is that a word lol?). When I was reading this post I kept thinking two things 1) “Wow, I never noticed that Marianne is religious,” and 2) “man she is really being true to herself and it is a beautiful thing!” I am not a religious person myself, but I know it takes real courage and a real strong sense of self to open up in public like this with your beliefs. I guess that means you are as strong inside as you are outside!

    I think I suffer from all of the things you listed, but I am working on all of them, and reading your article makes me feel even better about the prospects of improving in these areas of my life. Thank you so much and keep doing what you are doing!

  22. [...] The Six Best Things I Have Done for My Body, Mind and Soul [...]

  23. Edel says:

    Sorry this is unrelated to your post but it’s coming close to Christmas and I’m wondering what item I should invest in next, I use an 8kg kettle bell and I’m getting a proper exercise mat. Should I buy another 8kg kettle bell for doing renegade rows, get a pull up bar or just stick with the 8kg and upgrade when I can. Any advise?

    • Marianne says:

      Hi Edel, I would invest in a heavier KB. 12kg at least and use it for squats, swings and eventually rows and presses. You need to progress the weight you use for single KB work. Females should be swinging a 12kg at least, even from an early stage -8kg won’t do anything for you :( You can always do single arm rows, but if you really want a second KB then maybe wait until you are strong enough to use 2 x 12kg for the rows. Down the line, you will not use 8kg for rows, and having 2 will be a waste. I reckon 12kg will last you longer.

      Hope this helps :)

      • Edel says:

        Thanks for the advice, when I went to a 3 hour beginners KB class about 3 months ago the instructor wanted to give me a 6kg kb, but I opted for the 8kg. I never know if these male instructors are being kind or patronizing, perhaps the latter.

  24. Acacia says:

    Marianne,
    How much I needed to read this! I have (for about 8 years) been on and off a weight loss rollercoaster. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t dieting. Lately I’ve just been eating really cleanly and not worrying so much and I’ve been feeling great. THe problem is I stepped on the scales a few days ago (lesson learned – never doing that again) and my weight hadn’t changed. Although I kept telling myself that I was now eating for ‘health’ and not ‘weight loss’ I was so upset and disappointed and thought how unfair it was that I am so healthy and others aren’t and they are leaner than me! Your post rang true on every single point – the past month or so that I’ve been trying not to focus on fat loss I have been so much happier! I have been looking in the mirror at the things I like about myself instead of the negatives. The problem is I let this all slip because of the scales. I also have been getting caught up with comparing myself to others, and trying to conform to what I think people think I should look like (I’m a personal trainer and am not overweight but also do not look like a fitness model). I take it so personally if a client is grumpy or says they don’t like something (eg. boxing). Your post was amazing and so in time for me. Thank you:)

    • Marianne says:

      I can totally identify with what you are going through. I am glad that this post has helped you in some way. It’s a case of practicing undoing the bad habit of believing the negative self-talk verses seeing the bright side.

      My hope is that everyone (me included) can master this skill of seeing the good things over the bad.

      And I also understand the taking offense thing at clients not liking something. I have the same battle and I used to take it to heart when I got a “dislike” or negative comment on Youtube or here – it’s tough not to take it personally, but most of the time people say these things because of who THEY are, not because you need to change for them. You should only change if you feel you must.
      :)

  25. [...] letting these thoughts [LIES] rule my feelings. In one of my recent posts I declared the “Six Best Things I Have Done for my Body, Mind and Soul“.  While on one hand I feel like a hypocrite by telling my reaction to the comment, I can [...]

  26. Ava Health says:

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