Since I first started writing more about my faith, I have had a lot of people reach out to me because they share many of the experiences i have. I wanted to share this post with you because I know many of you will have dealt with what I am talking about on some level or another.
Fear was my master. Like a set of strings pulling me and directing me through life. Occasionally i defied it, but only to fall into doubt and more fear, becoming more and more tangled in its strings. Sometimes the puppeteer would change and I’d dance to a new tune, but ultimately, much of *my* life, I have been dancing to fear.
You see, all i wanted was to fix things, i wanting things to work out for the best. Yet I really had no idea what I was doing. I’d talk of trusting in God, but i went about my life trusting no one, not even myself. How could I when I was unaware of how trapped I really was. My fear was my world; it was comforting and disrupting all at the same time. It stood back and let me have a little freedom sometimes, but anytime i was close to something wonderful, it came to life and pulled me this way and that. The Master puppeteer.
Fear told me to believe no man one minute but to cave in the next. Fear told me to feel suspicious of everything. Fear told me that I’d end up trapped in a marriage to a controlling man. Having had a lifetime to set the stage, fear flooded my mind and fear bred doubt about who I was and who i was marrying. You see I grew up in that. I grew up in fear. Once it was my friend; now it is my enemy. Unless I had victory over it, i’d been a slave to it my whole life and I’d never really trust.
Then one day I reached the bottom of the pit, writhing around in darkness and confusion. I couldn’t even discern truth from lies. A very influential friend whispered words of candy to my fear until i just couldn’t see any light at all. On the brink of doing what I always did (caving in to *this* fear), I changed direction. Despite the darkness, and not really knowing what I was doing, I turned to the only source of truth I knew of: God. What has He promised me? What has He already done and where has He led me so far? Looking back and looking for God in everything, allowed something amazing to happen…
It was at this point that I finally understood what it means to really have faith. It’s not believing in God; it’s believing God. I couldn’t rescue myself. I couldn’t fix *this*. So, while hiding my eyes from the terror of darkness, I reached out my hand for Christ. Only by His strength, His discernment, His power and The Truth would I ever walk free of my fear. I finally believed God’s goodness and I finally believed that I only had *to let Him* show me the way out of fear.
All I had to do was let Him lead me.
A gift of Grace. A gift of Faith. He gave me these so that I can now walk free. A gift of His peace, that surpasses all understanding. Thank The Lord!!!
The puppet is a real girl! 😀
There are situations and people who are just as deceived as they make you. Guard your heart and mind with Christ’s promises. These people may not even understand what they have been a part of, so pray for God’s discernment and wisdom – and pray for them. Plant your feet in firm ground so you are rooted in Truth. Don’t flit from one idea to the next; sit back and look at the body of evidence and let God show you reality. The master deceiver is prowling and setting many a trap, so you must guard yourself with something more powerful.
If I had listened to my “friend”, i could have done something i’d have regretted for the rest of my life! This person’s advice was coming from their own experience and was not in line with what I knew to be true. Who knows what will come of that person, but I had to walk away from them. It was for their sake as much as mine – that burden is not for me to carry.
Be careful who or what you let pull your strings. You see, we should not be puppets, we should be real children of a loving father. Guided, nurtured and loved. You can still be loving and not let people influence you – sometimes you have to set bigger boundaries so they do not pull you down.
I can’t go into any more detail than this, but if you are in a state of confusion and fear, hand it all over to God, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world. And we can’t do it in our own strength. Realising that I needed God to solve this was easy, but actually letting go of my grip on it was the hardest thing in my life! Most puppets can’t see their strings and I was completely unaware of the reactions I was having based on mine.
It’s one thing knowing what to do and another actually doing it. And often this is where things get more tangled. We think we have to *try* in order for good things to happen, but I really think we have to LET GO so that we gain freedom. Don’t entertain speculation or trying to work it all out – Fall down and let God take over. It’s the hardest thing to describe because it flies in the face of everything we think we “should” be doing, even as Christians – because we still think we can make things happen. Man-made “freedoms”, independence and self-help are applauded … but we cannot walk in freedom without knowing what we are free from. Most people just don’t know what they are being held by. It could be money, addiction, a relationship (good or bad), self-pity, self-reliance, bitterness, food, vanity, debt, fame, guilt – never mind the many other common things we think of. Mostly people are scared to let go of what they know because they fear the unknown and they fear not having security, approval of others.
It’s not about us being approved or disapproved of by others – it’s about letting go of this fear and gaining eternal approval by accepting God’s gift of Grace through Jesus Christ. The only way to grace is through the One and only perfect grace giver. There is no greater power than Grace because nothing can touch you when you wear God’s righteousness through no act except letting go of what ever is controlling you in this world.
Is it easy to do? It isn’t at the time, no, and i think many of us have to feel like we are in that pit before we are able to finally let it go and hand our burdens over to God.
Let Your Freedom Ring!!
Happy New Year!
Now I’m off to get MARRIED to a wonderfully amazing and supportive man!